Happy Bonfire/Fireworks/Guy Fawkes Night/Diwali, everybody!

Guy Fawkes Night will always remind me to rebel. I'm sure that's the opposite of what the British Government intended when they decided to make Guy Fawkes infamous by burning him every year on a pile of old furniture, but that's the message I've ultimately taken away from it. As Stephen Fry once said:

"I think to live at the summation of human achievement in everything from computing to the internal combustion engine is a wonderful thing because we've got the past age, you can imagine you're that a Victorian, but if you're a Victorian you couldn't imagine you lived in the 1970s, you couldn't imagine you lived in the 1990s. The beauty of it is we are at the absolute peak of everything, as we speak this minute is the most modern minute that ever happened."

So make the most of it.

Also, my faith in humanity has increased for the first time in a long while. Thank you, America, for voting Barack Obama as your president.

Wow. Picture this. You're on the best online comic in the world, xkcd, when you chance upon this strip, entitled 'Listen To Yourself':



Now imagine, barely a fortnight after that particular panel was released, that you venture onto the youtube and happen upon an 'Audio Response' button in the comment box.

Youtube

I almost had a heartattack of awesome.


In other news, I can't move my neck, I have many strange circular bruise all over my limbs, and I'm half deaf. No, I'm not having a stroke. I went to a Glamour of the Kill gig last night and had a freaking awesome time, they were even better than last time. And discovered a new band! The Hotel Ambush. Man, I love the music scene in South Wales. Or, as I like to call it, Old South Wales.


Lordy, Christmas is coming and it's terrifying. I do not enjoy singing Christmas carols in September. But Halloween is also coming, which means brand new cinema! Woohoo. Although that means I'll soon know what it feels like to go to the pictures alone.

So, I just found out that my Austrian e-pal, who I met on holiday and is in the army, is going to Georgia to help the people there. He told me that he hopes he'll come back.

Ugh, what a great end to a great day. I though that that awful iced caramel machiatto on the way home was the icing on the cake, but this is the multi-coloured super-sprinkles.


"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers." True say man, true say.


Oh, and I didn't see one interesting-looking person when I enrolled at college on Tuesday. I know I'm judging books by their covers but that's what I do; I have a library card which allows me to do so on a regular basis and I'm quite good at it. I kinda don't want to go back to school now.


I wish my icon was true.

I KNEW IT!

"You would never know it from the way he plays Quidditch, but Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has revealed he suffers from dyspraxia – often associated with clumsiness.

The condition means the 19-year-old still has trouble tying his shoelaces.

It can affect any or all areas of development, including intellectual, physical and language, and can impair a person’s normal process of learning.

In adults, it can affect a person’s ability to perform in stressful or challenging situations and make tasks such as driving difficult.

‘I was having a hard time at school in terms of being c**p at everything, with no discernible talent,’ he says."

No discernible talent? Well, they're his words, not mine. I'm sure everybody who watched the crying scene in Prisoner of Azkaban wouldn't like to disagree with you there, Dan.


And in other news, Warner Brothers are cold heartless bastards and they can writhe in terrific agony in hell for the rest of time as far as I'm concerned.

"The picture is completely, absolutely, 100 percent on schedule, on time. There were no delays. I've seen the movie. It is fabulous. We would have been perfectly able to have it out in November."

And that, friends, makes me sick to my stomach. Because they chose not to, just so that they could maximise the earning potential of the film.


[Disclaimer: Dan Radcliffe still does a better job at Harry than I could probably do. I know I'm harsh, it's just my style of humour. Take what I say with a pinch of salt.]


So, I'm off now to go run on the treadmill until I collapse into a heap. I'm forcing myself to enjoy running again, and there's no better way to do that than run until you want to stab yourself to make your lungs stop hurting. I'm okay with the running; it's the stopping that I hate, because that's when I can no longer breathe.

I mean, do you have to look so fucking depressed all the time?



I think the Houses of Parliament should hold a fancy dress party. Now that would be awesome beyond words.

And the state of the nation isn't so bad. You just believe too much you read in the Sun, Mr Brown. If I was a Cabinet Minister, things would be so awesome. We'd be the happiest nation ever. I mean, in a country where the MPs skip and give their colleagues cake, what could ever go wrong?

Re: The Dark Knight. I've so far managed to get 2 days past the UK release date (a week and a half or so past the US one?) without picking up any major spoilers. I've heard so little about Two-Face it's unreal, to the point of not knowing if he's even in it. I mean, obviously Harvey Dent is in it. (If you dont want to know who Two-Face is, don't highlight.) I'm not complaining though, the less I hear about the plot the happier I am as far as I'm concerned.

But I'm going a little bit bat crazy. To the point where I have a Batman logo T-shirt, a Batgirl T-shirt, a pair of bat earrings, a pair of Batman knickers, 3 badges, a bag, 2 Joker posters, a Batman poster and a 3D Dark Knight poster. The Burton/Schumacher box set. And the Batman Begins/Gotham Knight box - the play.com exclusive with a USB with movie stills.

And also, the OMG BAT LIVING IN MY ROOF.

Well. It may not be a bat. It might be some sparrows, or a rat, or a demon waiting to posess me (see 'Come Closer' by Sara Gran). If it's a bat, we aren't even allowed to move it because it's endangered. How badass is that? A bat living in my room?

Finally, Austria was awesome. In a few words: sunburn, beer, singing, hot choir/army/photographer guys from other countries, awesome graffiti (who knew?!). Good times. Except for the stupid costume. And the choir that had a song that was 7 minutes of fart noises.

First off, I got a major scare earlier hearing about the fire at Universal studios and that 40,000 to 50,000 master reels had been destroyed in the blaze. Luckily they're saying that all of the masters they had there have been copied so nothing has been lost forever, but for about an hour I was seriously bummed out about it. But it kinda sucks quite badly that the Back to the Future, To Kill a Mockingbird and King Kong sets have been damaged. That picture of the fire though looks like something out of a film, doesn't it?

Is it lame I got worried about that?

Ehm, and in other news, I keep buying DVDs that I have no time to watch. But then as I said to my Nan the other day, nobody buys DVDs to watch anymore, they buy them to say that they have lots of iconic films in their movie collection so they can look cool.


And also if somebody could punch me in the head I would probably quite enjoy that right now. My head is buzzing again.

Good news!: I'm back to my old depressed and dysthymic self. Yippee. And all of that missed sleep that didn't affect me before has come down on me like a lorry. Carrying bricks. Being driven by Michael Moore.

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Lost Skull today. It wasn't as good as the Last Penultimate Crusade, but there are extremely few films that ever will be. *mourns Sean Connery* And before any people are like 'OMGSEANCONNERYISDEAD?*HANGSSELF*' as I know I would be, he's not dead in real life. Just in Indiana Jones. But still, I am very disappointed with everybody who made the film for allowing that to happen.

Also, if you guys were expecting some face-melting (as I was - can't have an Indiana Jones film without some face-melting!), Cate Blanchett gets owned. And Shia LaBoeuf tries to do the whole symbolic thing at the end of the film by picking up Indy's hat and trying to put it on. So Indiana promptly jacks the hat from his hand and puts it on his own head. That's right, bitch. Try and come back for a spin-off now.

Now, I'm a freak and I enjoy watching the credits of films. Why, I hear you ask? Because I like trying to find funny names in the credits. I know, it's cruel. But I feel that otherwise, nobody would read the names of the people who put time and effort into making that film, who feel proud at having their name on the credits. The least I can do for them is read the credits; even if I don't remember their names at least I'll have read them. And in return, they provide me with mild humour. The best name in the credits I ever saw was when I went to see Mr Bean's Holiday: 'Christian Blood'. I don't think I will ever see something that good in my life again. But the disclaimer at the end of Goblet of Fire ('No dragons have been harmed in the making of this film') comes pretty close. A couple of humourous names that I read today included the surname 'Labiana' and 'Yurih Fuks'. Childish, I know. Sometimes I wonder if film-makers put in weird names to reward the people who read the credits. I'm not a bully, honestly.

I did two perfect three point turns and a perfect reverse around a corner today, according to my driving instructor. If I'm so perfect give me a license already!  *look of daggers*

In other news, somebody beat me on ebay. I was trying to buy a copy of the Fountain for £2... the winning bid was £2.01. *facepalm* I'm so lame I can't even win on ebay.

And finally. Rock Band (Xbox 360) is, at long last released tomorrow here in the UK. But because in work we're so freaking awesome like that, we set it up on the shop floor today to let everybody have a go. Which all of the staff did, meaning that none of the customers got to have a go. When I finished at the record shop I went and played it some more, then I had to go have lunch before my afternoon shift at the menswear shop of doom. But I came back for more after lunch. It goes on sale tomorrow. It wouldn't even fit in my attic room. But then again, who needs savings? I mean, I don't really need an Aygo... or food...